All dressed up with nowhere to go. This has never been a truer statement. But! With a little willful ignorance of the travel situation at hand and a little suspension of disbelief (you know, the same thing you use when you read a novel or watch a movie), you can travel AND have a travel wardrobe this spring.
Introducing: Jeans for Every Room of the House
This is where you bake your sourdough bread/muffins/cakes and drink your whipped coffee. This is where you go to be a god damn 20th century domestic feminist goddess. This is the place for your most loved, down-to-be-dusted-with-flour, tried and true, forgiving waistband jeans. This is the place for your boyfriend jeans. But maybe not your boyfriend (or husband). Maybe he just stays out of there while you eat the rest of the cake batter…
The Living Room
Relaxing nature documentaries, endless games of Egyptian Ratscrew, Aperol spritzes at five pm. This is the entertainment hub and so your jeans should be versatile but beautiful. The living room activities are the true bread and butter of quarantine (even though the making of the bread and butter is important too). This is the place for funky cropped flares or skinnies with an interesting hem or that new pair of white jeans you’ve been wanting to flaunt.
Can a pair of jeans be between-the-sheets sexy? OF COURSE! Can a pair of jeans rival lingerie? We’re not totally sure about that, but we’re willing to bet that if they could, they’d be the kind of butt-hugging, leg-skimming black skinny jeans or even Spanx faux leather leggings that make you feel like Sandy from Grease.
Jeans in the bathroom? Never! But jean shorts? Sure! Channel your inner “never-nude” a la Tobias Funke from Arrested Development and throw on your jean shorts while you wash your face and brush your teeth. You’ll need your legs free in the humid post-shower air.
This is where your pair of artfully ripped jeans comes into play. Let the soft outdoor breezes come through the torn knees of your jeans and pretend you’re at the beach or just, frankly, outside without a mask on.
The Laundry Room
You might think this is the place for pristine white jeans, but it’s not. Because, remember, there’s probably mustard on that shirt you’re about to wash (whether it’s the husband’s or the kid’s!). This is the place for dark wash stretchy jeans. Something you can squat and sort and stay stain free in.
Where you would be greeting guests, if you could have any guests. Take your coat out from the coat closet, put on a pair of shoes, swipe some lipstick on in the mirror and pretend you’re going somewhere else. This is the place for the show stopper, date night jeans. Skinnies with a metallic stripe, smoky grey jeans with a destructed hem, wide leg flares.
So, we know it’s not a true packing list, but it’s something. And if you feel so inclined, you could always put your outfits into a suitcase and pull them out in the mornings, when you decide whether today is more of a bleaching the bathroom or reading Such a Fun Age on the porch kind of day.